The author reflects on the difficulty of discussing gender equality with men who are blind to systemic discrimination. Through personal anecdotes from a human rights mission and a Portuguese university, she illustrates how those who do not experience oppression often fail to recognise it. She draws a parallel with her own journey in understanding racism, concluding that to truly grasp the necessity of equality, we must listen to the experiences of those who are marginalised rather than those who have never faced such barriers.